Hi my name is Catherine
and I am a vigilante driver.
Doesn't make sense? Let me explain.
See....we live in Utah. That's great, most of the time...the exception being, anytime I have to drive anywhere. Many drivers in Utah still believe they live in the Wild West, and drive accordingly--this means no turn signals, running red lights, passing on the right, speeding, tailgating, and a nearly intentional misunderstanding of the whole double-yellow-lines-means-do-not-cross thing. This wouldn't be much of a problem, if the highway police ever pulled anyone over.
Several years of driving with these irritations has led me to be a little offensive with my defensive driving. For instance, while driving on the highway, I have no problem honking at someone weaving in and out of traffic, or holding down my horn at someone who dangerously cuts me off until they are too far away to hear anymore. I also have no problem brake-checking someone who is tailgating me (cause really, if you're tailgating me on the highway and I have to stop suddenly, we'll both be dead!). I also get quite irritated when I'm driving along a normal road, approaching an intersection at which I need to turn left, and the car behind me starts to get in the turn lane long before the solid yellow line turns dashed, despite the fact that my turn signal is already on. I mean, what do they think they're going to do, get there before me? So I usually get in once I see them doing so and then drive reaaaaally slowly in the hopes that they'll get the idea that that's not acceptable.
My favorite thing to do, however, is very circumstantial and almost never happens. You know how you're approaching an intersection and the light turns yellow and every car in front of you makes it in time except for you? Yeah, I live for times like those. This would be because I know that every car in the turn lane across from me is going to try and make it through the light crossing in front of my lane, even when it means the last 2 or 3 cars are going to continue driving once my light is green. To be completely fair, I wait to put the car in 1st (our car is manual) until I see that my light is green, but as soon as it is, I start to go--no waiting for all those extra cars in front of me to continue running the red light before I start! Of course, I would never ever hit anyone (that's no good for anyone involved) but I definitely get some satisfaction about honking very loudly to let them know that they're being idiots.
A real mark of my vigilante status would be if I did what I really want to do--that being writing down license plate numbers of cars driving recklessly and breaking the law, and calling the police to report them. I've never actually done this though, mostly because it is a little extreme, and frankly if I'm irritated it's because I'm driving (and Jesse is not) so I don't really want to make him go through all of that just to make me feel vindicated.
Well, all of my vigilante-ism is quite satisfying, but I'm fairly certain it's not very Christ-like. It is for this reason that I'm glad we're moving back to North Carolina where the drivers speed in the appropriate lanes and always let you in on the highway! As long as, of course, it doesn't turns out that drivers in NC are not as saintly as I remember....in which case I might just have to repent of my vigilante-ism and try to be better.
Doesn't make sense? Let me explain.
See....we live in Utah. That's great, most of the time...the exception being, anytime I have to drive anywhere. Many drivers in Utah still believe they live in the Wild West, and drive accordingly--this means no turn signals, running red lights, passing on the right, speeding, tailgating, and a nearly intentional misunderstanding of the whole double-yellow-lines-means-do-not-cross thing. This wouldn't be much of a problem, if the highway police ever pulled anyone over.
Several years of driving with these irritations has led me to be a little offensive with my defensive driving. For instance, while driving on the highway, I have no problem honking at someone weaving in and out of traffic, or holding down my horn at someone who dangerously cuts me off until they are too far away to hear anymore. I also have no problem brake-checking someone who is tailgating me (cause really, if you're tailgating me on the highway and I have to stop suddenly, we'll both be dead!). I also get quite irritated when I'm driving along a normal road, approaching an intersection at which I need to turn left, and the car behind me starts to get in the turn lane long before the solid yellow line turns dashed, despite the fact that my turn signal is already on. I mean, what do they think they're going to do, get there before me? So I usually get in once I see them doing so and then drive reaaaaally slowly in the hopes that they'll get the idea that that's not acceptable.
My favorite thing to do, however, is very circumstantial and almost never happens. You know how you're approaching an intersection and the light turns yellow and every car in front of you makes it in time except for you? Yeah, I live for times like those. This would be because I know that every car in the turn lane across from me is going to try and make it through the light crossing in front of my lane, even when it means the last 2 or 3 cars are going to continue driving once my light is green. To be completely fair, I wait to put the car in 1st (our car is manual) until I see that my light is green, but as soon as it is, I start to go--no waiting for all those extra cars in front of me to continue running the red light before I start! Of course, I would never ever hit anyone (that's no good for anyone involved) but I definitely get some satisfaction about honking very loudly to let them know that they're being idiots.
A real mark of my vigilante status would be if I did what I really want to do--that being writing down license plate numbers of cars driving recklessly and breaking the law, and calling the police to report them. I've never actually done this though, mostly because it is a little extreme, and frankly if I'm irritated it's because I'm driving (and Jesse is not) so I don't really want to make him go through all of that just to make me feel vindicated.
Well, all of my vigilante-ism is quite satisfying, but I'm fairly certain it's not very Christ-like. It is for this reason that I'm glad we're moving back to North Carolina where the drivers speed in the appropriate lanes and always let you in on the highway! As long as, of course, it doesn't turns out that drivers in NC are not as saintly as I remember....in which case I might just have to repent of my vigilante-ism and try to be better.
Comments
Yes, As far as I'm concerned, North Bythegraceofgod Carolina drivers are still fairly decent.
Hopefully I am numbered among them. :D
Pretty sure drivers are a problem everywhere except where they aren't. That is to say, it's not that Utah is bad, it's that it's not particularly good. If you come from one of those places with good drivers, count yourself blessed. Utah's the best place I've been for driving that wasn't in the middle of nowhere.