I can be brown, I can be blue, I can be violet sky...

This song is stuck in my head right now.

And I am posting instead of doing German homework. Homework has become hard to do these days....especially given my amazing realization this weekend!!!

Jesse and I went to Rexburg this weekend, for a multitude of reasons, some of which were to get him new contacts (before it is on our insurance....>.>) and so I could get out of Provo for awhile and breathe some clean, fresh Idaho air (I never anticipated loving Idaho so much....).

Anyways. It was sooo relaxing. Jesse said it was interesting to watch me, cause I was (I'm paraphrasing here) "a completely different creature. You weren't looking over your shoulder all the time."

This led us to the discussion of/realization that I do not like the academic life. Tests, quizzes, papers, homework, stress stress STRESS!!! I never feel like I'm getting anything out of it and I'm always shirking something I ought to be doing. I don't like it. I love learning new things, but I don't like the means available to me of getting there.

And it took me three years of college to realize it!!! How did this happen????

However, we also know that me not graduating is not an option (What if I have to work? What if something happens to Jesse and he can't work? What if he loses his job?) so we've decided I need to just get through these last 4 semesters and then get out. Grad school might still be in the picture, but only if it's something I absolutely love and if it's a short program. Teaching at the university level is also probably out (although I always kind of knew I'd dislike doing that....now I know why). But I'm really starting to like the idea of teaching high school German....

peace, love, the future still looks awfully bright,

Catherine